My mind is always busy, always running. Even when I’m engaging in activities like, listening to music and talking to people, up until the very last minute I fall asleep. Some conversations completely shut you down, though, to the point where you’re not even listening. I always remember my Spanish Literature professor; he would talk and talk for hours until I fell asleep. He was quite a sleeping “aid” for me. There was just something in his voice that sent me straight to el quinto sueño (fast asleep) as we say in Spanish. That was a moment when I can remember myself not thinking.
But when I’m not sleeping, I cannot silence my mind. I might get distracted, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m not thinking. At least I don’t hear voices telling me to do crazy things — like some lunatics have described — and I hope that never happens. What’s on my mind is different. It is just…thoughts! I want to beleive that this is a characteristic of creative people — writers. Ever since I was a little girl, some of my favorite things to own and carry were self-help books and pen & paper. I thirst for knowledge. And I just had this need of wanting to write everything down. I used to write journals, too, but I never kept them because of fear that someone would read my thoughts. Ironic.
Sometimes they are just a ton of creative ideas running through my mind. Of course I always never have a way to write them down when they occur. By the time I get to pen and paper I forget what I was thinking. I’m becoming more forgetful. This blog is my idea of a reminder; in hopes that it will refresh my mind some day when I’m older and see how much different (if so) I used to think. Other times I do have the ability to write down my thoughts, but then — POOF! can’t find the right words to put it in words. Is it easier thought than written? What am I missing here?
But having an overactive mind isn’t bad. In fact, it doesn’t affect me negatively at all! You see, I never get bored (or should I say almost never). And I think this is due to the fact that I’m always thinking of what to do next? I fortunately have a life where things are constantly needing to be done — and I blog. Maybe I over-think things, but sometimes thinking keeps me from making stupid decisions (not that I haven’t made enough) and it keeps me busy.